Monday, January 5, 2015

Dear Diary. Week 1.

I began on New Years Day.
I seriously didn't want to see how much I weighed but I did it.
Janurary 1st, 2015 9a.m.
Yeah, that's not good.
I had already made up my mind to change my eating habits.
Like I have mentioned. I tend to do this in cycles. I loose, a lot, and get scared. SO I revert back to eating and eating and eating.
It's not only what I eat, but amounts.
I have been on the Weight Watchers program, and that has worked for me before. But now, I have so many dietary restrictions by being a Celiac and Allergic to almost everything that tastes good.
Kidding. Not Kidding.
Just to name a few of the things I'm allergic to or cannot eat.
Whole Wheat Flour
 Wheat Graham Flour
  Lupin Flour
  Farina Flour
Wheat Germ
  Wheat Bran
  Yeast -Both Brewer's Yeast and Baker's Yeast
Autolized Yeast
Modified Food Starch
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Red, Orange & Yellow Dyes

Sigh, If they take away my beloved Potato I will just want to curl up and not go anywhere.
This is everything.
Is there hope?
My doctors are perplexed as to why I still have the "wheat" belly.
I do have to admit, that although I haven't eaten any of the stuff that is bad for me, I have been eating stuff that is not healthy. A lot of GF Bread. A lot of Mexican Coke. A lot of tortillas. A lot of Cheeses. A lot of Meat covered in Oil. A lot of GF chips and Dips.
I haven't been exactly the poster child for healthy eating.
And so, I have done a complete overhaul of my eating.
This keeps getting harder and harder to start, or to keep it going.
The more responsibilities I take on, the harder it is to watch what I eat.
But it can be done. I have done it.
I cannot make any more excuses. I have to do.
I have to be fit and strong for my boys.
I want to see them grow up.
I want to be able to run around and play with them.
And so, this morning
January 5th, 2015 at 9:30am
I weighed myself after a complete do over on my eating. I have been eating healthy for 4 days.
3.6 pounds lost in 4 days with only eating healthy and cutting out the excess.
Not bad. Good Start.
Got to keep going and maintain it.
I hope to loose at least 2lbs per week.
This is the recommended healthy weightloss.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Old Cliche

And so we start the new year.
2014 went by so fast. It really didn't stop from the start. Between my boys and their special needs classes, therapies and tutors, my business, my household, my marriage and school responsibilities, it hardly left any time for me. To take care of me. To focus on me and my health.
The question of, "How did I get this big?" is not really mine. I know exactly what happened. I stopped caring. I gave in to my cravings.
And for as long as I can remember, that has been the case.
I believe I'm afraid.
I get to a certain point and then, I freak out.
50 lbs lost, 80 lbs lost, 60 lbs lost.
There is a cycle. I loose it and then I freak out about the changes in my body and I start eating. I'm not sure if it's an evolutionary thing or if it is a metal thing. But it happens to me.
I have been on diets since I was a teen.
I have had the gastric lap-band and almost died.
I have been diagnosed a Celiac and have multiple food allergies.
Still, I gain ALL the weight back, with interest.
I can't say I'm not going to do fall this year, but I have to keep trying.
I don't want another diagnosis.
I don't want Diabetes
I don't want Hypertension
I don't want Arthritis
I don't want a Hypothyroid
I don't want Depression
I have to be judged by the number of times I get up.
I will find time for me. I will find time to get healthy and loose all this excess weight.
I will.