Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Embrace the Future


It's amazing how fast time flies these days. I remember being a kid and just thinking how the school year just dragged on FOR-E-VER. I craved down time and relax time. And now that I have kids of my own, it's like, damn it! Slow down!! You are growing way to fast and I don't want to miss anything.
But just like that, time waits for no one. You have to either keep up or get thrown to the side. 
After so many times feeling like I was pushed aside and forgotten, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I decided it was time to get up and put myself first, get my health in order and decide what I really wanted in life.
The first thing I did was go to a Wellness meeting with a woman from one of my mom's groups. She kept posting about how she had lost 90+ lbs in 2 years, brought her body back to an alkaline state and gained so much energy and health. She lives 45 minutes from my house. I didn't know her, and I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I was desperate for a change. 
As I walked into her house, I saw her, and I almost walked out. She was the picture of healthy, trim and fit! There was no way she was the same person from the "before" picture. She had muscles!! And no sagging skin!!! What was going on?!? She held the meeting at her house, so there were pictures of her and her family all around. As I looked on, I saw the "before" and the "in between". Her pictures were a timeline of her journey, and that's when I realized, she could be the real deal!
The meeting consisted of showing us a video of why Diets don't work, a bit about clean eating and then she told us her story. And I almost wept. She was like me. She was just like me, and she did it. She is now in the place I wanted to be. No surgery, no pills, just nutritional and clean eating. I didn't even think about it, I knew I wanted what she had and signed up then and there. And thus my journey with her as my wellness coach started. 
I continued with this program for a month, but I only had about a 10lb loss, inches were reducing, but not at the rate I would have wanted. Thus, I enrolled in the additional program that her mentor had for 6 weeks. What I learned in that program was that I couldn't expect to be perfect, or to compare my results with that of others. I had to change my mental outlook first, then my food consumption and then my physical activity. I learned so much about myself and how much I could do and not do. But again in only 6 weeks I lost 5lbs. I enrolled for another 6 weeks and lost 10lbs. So 25lbs lost in a span of 4 months. Okay, not bad, not where I wanted to be, but miles away from where I was.
Financially, I had to suspend joining the programs for a while. But I continued with the nutritional and clean eating. But I was stuck. I plateaued for 4 months. I was okay, since I wasn't gaining, but I was getting disappointed that the scale wasn't going down. Speaking to my health coach, she was completely understanding and supportive, told me to keep going, and to toss out the scale and that she had started her own program that mimicked the one her mentor had. I signed up and continued on with the love and support of the "tribe". 
But then, by the start of this year, I began to experience heart palpitations, tunnel vision and other scary symptoms that I knew could not be ignored any longer. I made many doctors appointments and discovered that there was actually a medical reason why I wasn't loosing weight! Like an actual, real life reason why no matter what I did, my body was stubbornly holding on to fat.
My body stores everything I eat as fat. Lettuce, yeah, let's store that as fat. Apples, Oh look, that is stored as fat! Bunless burger, doesn't matter, that is still fat. Everything! My body was only burning carbs that were easy to digest and everything else, including complex carbs, were being stored as fat. GDMF! Well that suxs. 
But I was blessed to land in the very capable hands of the wonderful Dr. D. Malinowski. She told me not to worry, to continue with my nutritional and clean eating and there is medication that can help correct it. I began a very aggressive medication regimen, one that some days just knocks me out and I sleep, but I can already FEEL the difference, and definitely SEE it.  

Today, I am 37.4 lbs less from my starting weight in 2016. I haven't been in this weight range since 2014. 

I still have a LONG way to go, but for the first time in what seems like forever, I finally have hope that I can get there.

 I finally wake up happy. 

I no longer feel like I am just watching time go by and fearing the future. 

I am now looking forward to it!

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